Being doubtful that I could continue my studies up to college, I wasn't so attentive anymore with my studies during my last year in high school. And the environment where I lived too didn't evoke much desire for higher studies. Though I always wanted to become a professional (an engineer), but the longing at that time wasn't strong enough to fan the fire. So, that was it; I was living a kind of care-free life.
Whe I was told about the coming College Entrance Examination, no need to say, I wasn't excited or worried about it. For me, whatever the result, doesn't matter to me.
Preparations were made for that said examination. And it took them some weeks, even a month perhaps before the annoying review sessions finally ended. I knew it wasn't so easy attending the rewiew classes, since I attended one time just to know how to fill up the forms, but I skipped the rest. Well, I had a plan already. Would I be successful? Let us see.
Rumors had spread of the kind of machine that was going to be used for the checking of the test papers. Various ideas came out on how to deceive it; like creating a slight dent with a pointed instrument on all the unchosen items. In this examination, we are required to blacken our choices with a pencil, once in each question. Choosing more than one answer would eventually lead to a disqualification or a negative rating, we were told.
Because I was into experimentation, I didn't heed the warning -- I wasn't really intimidated. So what if I got a negative marking, I reasoned.
Then, the examination came. I had a pretty bright idea: the first and the last 20 or so items I selected them just once, as the rule dictated. The rest (aside from those easy ones, which I selected also just once -- and there were lots of them), mostly, I would blacken three out of the five choices. For those difficult and time consuming questions, I completely blackened them all; so wherever the answer would happen to fall into I would still got it.
Before the classes ended that year, we had the results. And miracolously, I passed. I got 83% rating instead of a good for nothing negative.
In my school days, customarily, I was so honest that I would even prefer to submit my paper unanswered in times when I wasn't able to study my lessons. Though, it occurred really rare. Back then and until now, it was my first time to cheat. If I was caught then, I could never have travelled farther than the close neigbooring towns in my province; for it turned out that I would be going to have a scholarship loan from the government during the time of the late President, Corazon C. Aquino; and passing the NCEE was one of the requirements. That NCEE result had propelled me to travel and study college even just to witness the horrors of my life: a nightmare that once I didn't want to recall. I am only fortunate that now I already understand what my life is all about.
Though I don't think the possibility of such a machine to be existing today, but if it is, the Department of Education should look into its flaws. The said machine is vulnerable to praud.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Home but not a house
The painting on the right shows my home during my stay on the streets. My story in this place fascinates me; because here, an occurrence few have experienced in a lifetime (my experience of that Extreme Peace of Mind), had taken place -. A waiting shade is just a shade to all, but for me - it's a home. And inside it's darkened and dusty corners I found that kind of peace where I can't absolutely find anywhere I go. I journeyed to its depth scared to death of what was happening. Others may perhaps scorn of such story, though whether people will believe or not, still, the same thing is true - Genuine Peace of Mind is just within us all.
At present, the waiting shade is no more. The only way to bring the past is to recapture it, and I did it through this painting.
True to anything that is uncertain, I was nervous upon the thought that I will fail to bring the old scenery back to life. In the end, contrary to my doubts, an image pleasing to my eyes began to form. By the time I said, it's complete; I humbled myself down to whatever it is that made me paint such a painting that I can't perceive I am capable of.
My painting above is a reconstruction of the landscape in front of Manila City Hall on the year 1992 to 1995. I stayed in this park for, more or less, 5 years up inside the attic of the waiting shade seen in the painting. As you can notice, I put numbers on several places; these are the description of the numbered items:
1 - this points to a part of the ceiling where a trapdoor is located giving me entry to the inside of the attic.
2 - A huge garbage can is located here just opposite the City Hall and which is beside the wall that enclosed the Philippine Normal University's campus. For me and to almost all homeless, it means food for us. This is where I survived for the rest of my stay in the streets.
3 - this is the specific bench where in the middle of the night I was awakened by an ugly, haggard, and dirty old man who shared his home with me - the waiting shade. A detailed account of this mysterious event can be found in my soon to be publish book.
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