Letter to Philippine Normal University

Days after I have completed this letter I have second thoughts about the appropriateness of its content. In my life, unwittingly, I often follow intuition; the letter below is a product of such an impulse to tell - from the heart - without much restraint by reason.

The President 

Philippine Normal University

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

I had been a student of this school somewhere in 1997 or 1998. And that was while I was leaving [living] in the streets - a homeless - taking shelter inside an attic of a waiting shade in the plaza of Manila City Hall, near the flagpole. Getting into a university in this condition is an achievement already worthy of praise - and that was what I heard from people who have known me at that time. Life then was so difficult, especially that I didn't have what it takes to brave the circumstances I was facing. With an untoward twist of events, I decided to end my life. Fortunately, with the help of this school, I was coaxed to live a normal life again. Though I have not finished what I had started, I considered it a great experience, because it was through it that I was taken away from the streets. Then, I left Philippine Normal University, didn't know what to do with my life anymore.

My life is a story of failures - a life where I don't have the steering wheel in my hands. My world was always full of discouragement, worries, regrets, and hatred. Many things had been happening, as life pushed me from here to there; until one day, not too long ago, I discovered something -- Extreme Peace within me. This discovery changes everything: Ideas I never came up before came to my attention. These ideas resulted to my writing a book, which I am now trying to find a publisher. Aside from my book, that same Extreme Peace caused me to realize that I can paint; that is why, I am now promoting my Art Exhibit at home at the same time. I am also planning to have my own radio program in the AM band through sponsorship. When talking to people, I would usually find a way to inform them about it. My other project is to do motivational lectures, to share my experiences and knowledge and earned an income at the same time.

I have just started promoting my projects; and having started with nothing - I am still penniless at this time. Right now, I am pushed to do what I can do for my projects, when, unexpectedly, the owner of the place I am presently living asked me to vacate the place soon. I am given until the end of next Month; that is, until March 31, 2010. Before the deadline ends, I must find a way to secure a safe place for me, so I won't lose what I have been working very hard.

Aside from writing and visiting different institutions like schools, television and radio stations and publishing companies, I now began roaming around the streets of Metro Manila carrying a placard at my back announcing my need for a publisher to publish my book, while doing informal lectures on the streets -- sharing my knowledge to people. I also included my email address and Web site (blog): http://mindsecrethaven.blogspot.com for contact and information.

I am well aware that finding a publisher is not easy; because, the authority and status of the author play an important requirement for the acceptance of a work. Knowing that I am an unknown individual, I have to do my best to make a noise; and I will never stop until my voice will be heard; knowing I have a very important message to tell to all, which concerns our wellbeing. Without that astonishing transformation occurring in me, owing to that Extreme Peace, I will never be able to do what I have been doing these days.

Sir/Ma'am, how I like to share my experiences and knowledge to the students and staffs of Philippine Normal University, the school where I was once a student; please, give me the opportunity to conduct short motivational lectures inside the campus, for donation only. And if you have the means, in whatever way, to help any of my projects and my situation at the moment or perhaps, knows someone, I will be grateful for that.

I am cordially inviting you too, to visit this very rare Art Exhibit of mine. I am equally glad also if you can visit my Web site: http://mindsecrethaven.blogspot.com.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Anselmo B. Malugao

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Hitting the road

February 16, 2010, wearing a dark-blue overall, I started roaming the streets of Quezon City, near my place. Slung on my back was a placard with these words written on it: "I FOUND PEACE - I WROTE A BOOK - I NEED A PUBLISHER - http://mindsecrethaven.blogspot.com - and then my email."

The first few steps on the road were so awkward. In my head, I could almost hear the unwholesome comments from onlookers. Sure, I knew I could get over it. I was totally right, when later, I was already feeling all right -- lifted out from that uneasiness:I was becoming so proud that the curiosity of people looking at me had thrilled and exulted me instead. I saw myself no more an idiot, but a man with a purpose, courage, and determination. My first attempt was a success - I congratulated myself for it.

My action can be termed as a "desperate move." Yes! Because my projects are at stick. I don't want to lose them. Thanks, my decision is right - it give me a medium where I can have people's attention and converse with them; their response were very encouraging -- I am glad with it.

The placard gives emphasis on the publication of my book, since an Art Exhibit will hold lesser interest to most than a book. My Art Exhibit and other projects will always be there in the background.

Additional feature of my trek will include Counseling by the road -- based on my experiences -- for donation only. In this way, I can earn a little amount while travelling around.

I do hope, my activities will show the value of my book and finally gain attention to publishers.

The other day, I went to the University of the Philippines, UP. I visited the UP Press, the Administration Building, College of Social Sciences and Philosophy, the Dean's Office, and College of Mass Communication. I was there like pouring my heart and intention to them. Mostly, the people I met there have found my experiences and effort with sincerity. Oh, boy! They surprised me: their willingness to listen on what I have to say is absolutely very encouraging. I may or may not have the favors I asked from the University, the experience is already a proof that I have what it takes to push my plans ahead. The fact that there's no more uncontrollable nervousness plaguing me - I can already advance confidently and voice out the message I want to say.

 Today, I will send an email to the President of Philippine Normal University; who knows, I can grab his attention to the importance of my projects.

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The filling of application

Two days ago, that was Monday, January 10, 2010, I went to the Social Services Development Department as scheduled to file an application for a capital assistance for my little Art business. The aid is, actually, a grant, so no need for me to pay the amount, which is expected to be released this coming May 2010. Good if there won't be any problem like delayed release. Though I won't have to pay the amount of 3,000 pesos, but there will be a monitoring of my project. It's a good idea to minimize the chance of a person taking advantage of it by just doing nothing after receiving the amount.

At the moment, I felt comfortable to have done what I think needs to be done, and while waiting for that financial aid, I am already preparing to open my Art Exhibit to the public for a donation.

During the filling of the form, the question that gave me some moments before I was able to give the necessary information was about my food expenses. To be frank, for a month now, I barely spent money for my food. But if that is the case, how do I manage to stay alive? Too bad, the form won't accept explanation-it needs an amount. For water, electricity and the lot where I lived, I filled in "free." It couldn't be that for food, I would also say, "it's free." Well, I am indeed too fortunate, if someone has offered me that kindness. Because a normal person needs money to live I was forced to say 200 pesos a week, just to finish my application.

Back to the days when I was living on the streets and wanted to die, who could have thought that today I will be thinking of business, lectures, book publication, and websites. Although people are not proud of my present accomplishment-but it means a lot to me. If I am right with my conviction then what I have just started will branch out yet to greater fields of endeavor outside my present comprehension and capability. These days, I cherished the power of miracle and mystery-they endowed in me strength to go on from day to day.

We meet at last!

Last December 09, 2009 the field staff of DSWD (Department of Social Welfare and Development), Judith, and the staff of the Social Services Development, Lourdes, went over to my place. There We talked and tried to settle the matter. At first the field staff of DSWD seemed to be so composed with herself. I couldn't detect any distractions and worries from her demeanor. I was perperfectly right in insisting for her to come because we were able to express our feelings and there's time to reason out and ask questions. It appeared that nobody of them knows the real reason behind why they are there in my place. This was evident, when I told them that if I did not sent a complaint to Malacanang I am sure until now they wouldn' be here. "So that's the reason," she told me downheartedly. What followed is the asking of forgiveness, "if ever she made a mistake," Judith said. Well, I am very easy to forgive nowadays, and I learned not to keep grudges of any kind.

It was agreed that on the 2nd Monday of January, the next year, 2010, I will file my application for a grant, worth 3,000 pesos in the office of the Social Services Development Department. And Ma'am Lourdes Calomarde will be the one to attend to my application. However, what saddened me is the fact that the said amount is yet to be released on May the next year -- that will be almost half a year -- too long I think. Despite of this progress, I am already disgusted since it took me too long before everything is clear. I want to reiterate here, that I filed my application for a capital assistance last July of 2009; today is December 11, 2009; so it's, more or less, six months already. And even today, nothing has been processed yet -- I still have to wait for January 2010 for that. Then,  wait another five months for the released of the said fund. With all the hassles that accompanied the application 3,000 pesos is not really worth it. I hope the government will look deeper into this kind of time consuming and equally insufficient assistance program. Counting it all, from July 2009 to May 2010, it adds up to, approximately, eleven months -- tha's almost a year. Oh! What kind of aid is that.
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News about my family and relatives: from my niece

Hi uncle,

Here are the revelation!

Uyang cellphone number (...)

first question that my father ask, "really its true that Oloy is that person you talk/communicate in the computer?"

hehehehe,

Actually a minute ago, uyang was calling me! confirming for the second time, about you!  Asking me, why are you not coming home!  She had lot of things to talk with you, and ask me to do so,  but i deserved to be quit until uyang would personally say it to you!

About uncle Ondoy, he is working at the Treasurers office in Labason Municipal Hall. They had 3 son.  Do you remember mac euan malugao, the eldest! he is also a blogger.  just find him on net.  he is very easy to search.

About my Education, I currently study at Saint Vincent College, Dipolog City.
In the years I stopped going to college that was 2003-2007.  I spent the years researching on internet until i learn to assemble and repair a computer.  I even design images and any graphics using adobe photoshop and Corel draw.

I am also interesting to learn computer programming, but as time goes by, a very good friend and best friend of mine advice me to finished my college, for he will picked me from Philippines to Dubai. That is why sometime she sent me a little pony of support.

But that was some two times, because she told me that she got no extra money.
Even without her support for these days, i am thankful for I will achieve my goal soon!

anyway,

uncle, if you have time please call my papa too, he told me. cell number (...)

And I have a request, please sent me your story its up to you where to start!

i will send you and email attachment (picture) at (...)


Take care,
(...)
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My response:

Wow! It's nice that you try your best to learn how to repair a computer. If in case you've got  a problem with your computer, you can save money by fixing it yourself and, of course, that kind of skill means extra income -- you are talented! Do you mean, you can fix a computer including the hardware? Or, just the software.

You said that Nanay (my mother) has so many questions already. Ha ha ha! Do you think I can answer them all? I hope so. For the moment, I will answer first the question as to why I didn't come home; because, this is very important. The reasons have to do with pride, ambition, and principle.

For a long time, my life had no direction, this is due to failures. This brought me too much embarassment. I preferred to be left alone on my own devices and see if I can make it. I was only fortunate that a couple of years ago I discovered something that changed everything. That discovery led me to write a book. Presently, I am just waiting for the right time of its publication. Without the said discovery, you will never find me, because I wouldn't have to bother myself creating accounts more than an email. Well, I am very very sorry of what I did. But I believe that what I have done is the right thing.

Presently, I am working on my projects full time, and that means quiting my job -- and doing so is not easy. This is a daring effort. But I do believe this is what the world wants me to do. Soon, I will be appearing in the public to promote my projects.

Tell Nanay that I will be home when everything is already establihed. I am working very hard at the moment to make my projects a success. If Labason is only a walking distance; then, of course, at this moment I am there already. Insufficient money has also prevented me from visiting right away. Just imagine this: I can't even afford to have my cellphone fixed, how much more in going home. Soon, I will have the money needed, and that will be the time.

Sure, I will call Nanay, your father, and you, too, when I can.

Oh! That's good news that yoyo Ondoy got a position in the municipality of Labason. No doubt, he is already stable financially, good for the family. About Mac Euan, his eldest son, sure! I will try to read his blogs soon.

I can still recognize your face even though you are grown up already. Anang (my niece), too, she is still beautiful with her age; while Manang Lucy (your mother) is still looking young even these days. But Manong Dodong (my eldest brother), his face seems different to me. Perhaps due to the position of his face. With his chin up and head thrown backwards, it obscured some details of his face. In person, there might be a change but just minimal I think-- he is still identical to my brother of long ago. Thanks for sending me those lovely pictures.

You are asking my story. I have a short story written in Tagalog; you can view it at http://hereisataletotell.blogspot.com/2009/09/miracle-happens-everyday.html

One thing more, I got a problem with family relationship that I don't even know the calling addressed to the different stages of consanguinity correctly. This was brought to my attention when I am trying to replace the name Anang (a Cebuano term which reffered to my father's sister). First, the word "niece" pops into my head; but I want to be sure; so I got my French dictionary where I know the details has been fully illustrated with pictures. Just a few flipped of the pages I got to the section labeled "la famille." Then I looked for the word uncle which I know, beside it was labeled "Aunt." There I know I was wrong. And now, what is niece means. After scanning almost the whole diagram, near the end part, I found "niece" beside "nephew." Then, again, I know I made another mistake, because I called you my nephew, instead of niece -- what the hell is that! I better edit all those entries very soon. Very sorry. You should have told me about it.


UNCLE OLOY

News from the province

Here is a message from my email that was sent to me by my nephew who accidentally found me on the net. She talks so funny that I reread it several times.

... sent you a message on Facebook...
Lun 7 Décembre 2009, 19 h 30 min 44 s
De :  
Facebook
Ajouter dans les contacts
ƒ^ :     Anselmo Malugao <...@....com>    
...sent you a message.

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Re: surprised

yes, i do (have a picture of my papa)! i will send it to you on Wednesday.  I will prepare and find it first on my notebook comp. I think i do have a picture of uyang [my mother] too! but i have to scan it first, i forgot what are the file name of the folder containing it.  tomorrow, is Tuesday! we don't have class!  I don't have my own connection that's why i am dependent on the comp at school.

hehehehe, the truth is!  at a quick glance! you and papa, you two looks like! But if we have to compare, ya it just a resemblance.

ooooooohm, papa called me a couple of hours! Asking me confirming if i really talk with my uncle Oloy [my neckname in the province]!  of course I answered yes!  Lots of question, he thrown to me....  I think it is good that you answer it.  and I do hope that you can a receive a message from your cellphone, even if you cannot be reach.

my uyang [my mother] was preparing herself, hoping that one day you will call her.

everyone was surprised about the news, they even don't believe that we really talk, but of course just a messages.

i told them especially my papa, that i was not kidding, i am already 33 years old! hahahhaha.

you know uncle, theres a lot of things that was happened in labason, me, and the whole family, since you were leaving.  but i dont know either, how or where i start to tell you!

may be this coming Wednesday i can furnish you a copy of uyang mobile number!  very funny thinking that, this day!  Uyang was practicing how to use her cellphone, she knew how to answer, but she liked to know how to call you!  really she missed and love you......

there is now an electricity connecting to uyang new lovely house, waiting when you get home.

my sister Lea, was in there in Manila!

Lots things to tell, hahahhahahaha

yoyo Onyeng [my brother] and Yaya quina [my sister-in-law] were separated!  Yoyo was left alone in there small house at the boondocks [a plural exagerated spelling of the pilipino word "bundok," meaning mountain]... while yaya, was may or may not your neighbor.

so much gossip to tell,

but i forgot some of it......

till next time,


Lovely and humorous me,
(...)
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Here's my response:

Ha ha ha ha! I have a good laugh at your story. Really funny....I can't imagine my Nanay (mother) is now using a cellphone -- she is becoming high-tech, too -- very exciting indeed.

Yes, people would really be shocked with the news of this unexpected communication, because even me myself feels the same way. But who are these people you are talking about.

You said, my brother Onyeng is living on the mountain. I guess, still in that same location where the old house was. Well, it's a good place. Very quite, and it's overlooking the high way -- offering a wide view on the surroundings. I still have memories on that place, when I was still very young.

I am just curious what could be the first question your papa asked you when he learned about me. Can you tell me?

I am losing my Cebuano vocabulary already these days. So, talking is a little bit of a problem I think; I might not be able to find the word right away. But, anyway, I think I can manage. Tell Nanay (my mother) that I will call or text her whenever I can, just provide me the number.

What about Yoyo Ondoy (my other brother), how is he?

Lastly, I want to know where are you studying? Keep on striving! It's a good idea to always look for knowledge.

Your Uncle,
Oloy
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Comment: When I was young, mostly, I was called "Oloy," but my other relatives insisted on calling me "Joke-joke," instead.

Government aid -- too difficult! Why?

Below is the content of my email sent to Malacañang's DSWD Secretary, Sec. Esperanza I. Cabral, M.D.:

Dec. 09, 2009

SEC. ESPERANZA I. CABRAL

DSWD MALACAÑANG

Dear Ma'am Cabral,

Good day to you.

The field staff of DSWD Legarda whom I complained about came to my place last Saturday, unfortunately, I was not there, so she left a message. I called her today, Monday, Nov. 07, 2009, but I was disheartened to hear that aid, according to her, is not possible this month until May of the next year -- that means all government programs are already closed for clients within this span of time. What is worst, is that, she didn't even have a wish to come and see my exhibit anymore, but I insisted despite her saying that coming to my place will not change anything. Her statement is just like saying, What's the use of coming there! Anyway, I am glad that, finally, she agreed to come to my place on Wednesday, Dec, 09. Truly, I am really very suspicious with her pronouncement. I don't believe that the government can't do anything for me now. I filed my application since July, it's already six years; and, until now, I still don't see any positive sign of its approval. On the contrary, I see the likelihood of my application being scrapped at the end. Clearly, this will be due to the government employee's lack of initiative to be of service to others. Please, Ma'am Cabral, direct me to the right person who you think might help me.

SINCERELY YOURS,

MR. ANSELMO MALUGAO

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